Saturday, February 18, 2012

The Leader


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Today's deep thought brought to you by: dusty pink pants. Can I be anymore obsessed with pink? I love these light pink pants from the Gap..they are such an great alternative to the traditional khaki colored ankle pants. I can't wait to throw on a white tank and stack necklaces for a cute summer staple. Of course that is months away...so I have to keep my focus on winter. I wore a gray embeleshed Tshirt under a cream cardi. Since the top had so much detail and the pants were a statement in themselves, I kept it simple with silver and gold earrings. If you are afraid to try the colored denim trend..I would highly reccomend a pale hue like pink to perhaps give a try. Keep it simple and neutral on top..like a cream or gray top. (or both like I did today).  If you are feeling a bit more daring..try a pale seafoam green top. Don't be afraid to mix up your palett a bit. Start a trend...be a leader.

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"Lead me to the truth and I will follow you with my whole life..." Mumford & Sons

I have learned a lot from watching countless hours of the "Walking Dead". Who would have thought a zombie apocalypse would be so insightful?  Sadly, you know what is not needed during the apocalypse? an Accountant.... "Since we have been watching The Walking Dead," Josh said..(we were g-chatting this morning) "I have been trying to figure out what role I play in the group." You know, in case there is a zombie apocalypse or something. When you are chatting via computer, it is possible for a tone to get lost in translation. "Are you being profound?" I asked. "I was being funny." He said. Too late, my wheels began to turn. Do you ever wonder what role you would play in a zombie apocalypse? Not that I see that as a possibility, but our personality types are indicators of what roll we play in a group mentality. At home, I am obviously the leader. I am the sheriff in this small town and even the dog respects my alpha-ness. I have a few circles of friends including childhood friends, mommy friends, work friends and drinking friends. I usually like to be the comic relief...and never really the leader. One time a girlfriend was let go from her job...which she relayed to our high school friend circle in via group text. I was on my way to dinner with Josh when I got her message. I kinda started laughing and sent back "boom roasted." She did not respond right away. "Was that insensitive?" I asked Josh after five minutes of no response. Perhaps I should have sent her the supportive friend.."don't worry you will land on your feet" sort of encouragement text instead of going for immediate humor. Finally she called me and was laughing. "That was the best response I got!!" She exclaimed. I was relieved she still wanted to be friends with me and it solidified my role and the "funny one". 

When Josh told me he was thinking about his role in the scheme of things, I couldn't really think of a great answer to give him. I am the leader, the banker, the one with the steady job, the one with the benefits and the one who gets the car every day. His role as daddy is not as defined as my role as mommy. He is more like my admin and support system, my therapist and the person who makes me laugh. Before being a mother and wife, I really never pictured myself as a leader. I was always the one who followed..and went with it. I hated making decisions and shyed away from commitment. Being a leader is never easy..you have to make all the decisions then try not to second guess whether they were the right decisions or you should have gone down that other road. Would that path lead to an area that is just as infested with the dead or would it had been the road to medics and a way out? The leader bears the burden of great responsibility. I am not sure I am always up to the task. I guess I am more of a reluctant leader...not sure how to handle my role and always second guessing my abilities.  It is funny how life puts you in these roles and doesn't always take the time to check your resume or call your references and see if you are qualified. So as the reluctant leader, I have these days where I am not sure I am the best candidate for the position. I asked Josh why he doesn't call the shots and be the leader. Why is he so happy to just go with it and let me be in charge. "Why don't you step in and take charge?" I asked. "You would hate that." He said. I am actually a little afraid of how much truth there is to that. As a leader I have to learn to focus on the positive and praise the people who have helped me get there. The one in charge is only as good as the people who bring them up and when they accomplish something..then all who helped should be recognized. We are not solo creatures and don't make it on our own. The boss who lets other people do the work and takes all the credit is hardly a good boss at all. I am a good leader because my girls are easy to lead and Josh knows me better than I know myself most of the time. Being a mother is nature's way of putting you in charge and even if you are a reluctant leader like me, you find the strength to keep your subjects in line. 


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