Friday, December 23, 2011

Preparation

"What are you preparing...you're always preparing. Just Go!" 
Dark Helmet

If the waiting is the hardest part, where does actually getting there stack up? We spend so much time preparing for something. "Prepare this document for approval." "Prepare my skin for the sun." We always seem to be preparing for something. Is there such thing as successful preparation? Everything is here...preparation = success. We prepare our minds for what we think the future is going to hold. I have spend eight years preparing to practice law. I have a Master's degree...which means I spent a lot of time (and money) preparing for my job. Some people have no degrees..does that mean they spent no time preparing for their job? We have been told that preparation for the future is the responsible thing to do.

Am I the only person whose time is spent preparing and waiting. I prepare to wait...then I wait to prepare. I am preparing my wallet to spend money or waiting for the money to spend on preparing.  It is down right confusing and exhausting. I have to ask myself, what am I waiting for? I spent today watching a clock. I was waiting for someone to tell me to go home so I can prepare my house for Christmas. There is nothing more exhausting than waiting when you don't know how long you are going to wait for. Have you ever seen a happy person in a hospital. Honey, I just asked how long it would be until we saw a doctor. The nurse said she doesn't know. I am glad because I just wanted to sit here and wait longer. I am pretty sure all the people waiting in traffic at the mall today were happy for some extra time to just sit in their car pressing and releasing the gas.

If life becomes a series of preparing and waiting, then when does the actual living take place? We have to distract ourselves from the act of waiting in order to live. Are we there yet? No. Then let's play a game. I guess today, I just got a little impatient with the waiting process and forgot to figure out ways to have fun while doing so. What game can I play to make it feel like a game? I have been doing this blog to prepare for a future as a writer...but waiting for something to happen. I have no idea what that something is. There are posts that I have done that are really fun...my games while I wait. There are post that have are more like space fillers or things that I have done to keep my brain sharp and my fingers clicking. (or preparing for arthritis). As I look upon another cycle of the calendar, I look back on what I have been preparing for and what I am waiting for in the coming year. (perhaps I should prepare for the end of days....). The future can be exciting and scary. I want to be prepared to enjoy what I have been working toward...but I want to stop waiting and put it in motion. What do you feel like you are waiting for? Are you waiting to have children or waiting to get a new job? Are you preparing to start your own business or preparing to get married? Are you waiting to loose weight before you buy yourself nicer clothes? It is time to break the cycle of waiting and preparing and just live.

For the first year ever, I didn't prepare an outfit for our work Christmas party. In the past, I have dressed up. There is something to be said of the formality of Christmas. I love to get dressed up as much as possible this time of year. Perhaps it comes from years of having my face in a magazine, where I would picture myself in those glossy photos of holiday cheer...in a great dress. If life is a series of still life shots, then I need to be dressed appropriately. I have this great green and black lace skirt I have hardly worn. I just can't find the right shirt for it. Somewhere in my sleep..or while I laid in bed preparing to get up. (I prepare through at least four snooze buttons), my magenta called out. Just try it on...I think you will like the combination. I loved the outfit. Sometimes, you need to stop preparing and just trust your instincts...you just may find something to match your emerald skirt.

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Shirt: Old Navy
Skirt: Modcloth
Tights: Target
Necklace: Dillards
Shoes: Seychelles (DSW)








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