Saturday, June 25, 2011

Creative Outlets

My fingers are absolutely killing me. the guitar is not beginner friendly. it has a rough shell that I really had to work on cracking. But the good news is I have replaced Layla's kid guitar with an amazing Ibanez guitar thanks to my dad. Some pretty amazing things have come out of my new hobbies. Today I stopped over to grab a sandwich at my parents, and my dad gave me an hour run through of guitar basics. He offered up three guitars and we finally settled on this one. He wanted me to take his favorite one, a Fender, but I felt bad doing that and told him i can take this one. "but it is tuned in F open." he said..some Led Zeppelin songs are that way..and my dad has a guitar strictly dedicated to a few songs...another amazing thing about my dad. I promised him I could handle tuning it so that's what I got....complete with an extra set of strings. (good thing...since i already snapped one!) So as I sit here...fingers all blistery...but able to play the first verse and chorus of "Bad Moon Rising" by CCR...I feel a sense of accomplishment and peace.

I get a little forgetful or bored or wrapped up or even just too drunk in life that I often forget that creative time is important. Its like when we were in grade school and after all our reading and math, we were allowed coloring time....a time where there are no right or wrong answers and there isn't one person who is the best in the class. Playing the guitar, taking pictures or whatever it is i call a creative outlet has become my "coloring" time. my kid time. There is no one to tell me I am doing it wrong, no one to say when it needs to be done by, no one to say their way is better. It is just me and my imagination going...my mind completely turned off. This time is when I used to dwell on the things that were wrong in my life....the things i didn't have. there were so many things i felt I deserved in life...things i felt i was robbed of for some reason or another. Also there was a lot of regret and second guessing. These creative outlets have become a way to silence that voice that was yelling at me all the time. not that it doest try to come back...but at least I get to listen to my spotty playing of Bad Moon Rising over it.

Math, math, math. that is my work life. make the money add up and analyze why it does..and when it wont. I love working with numbers. it takes a special kind of nerd to feel this way and baby I a that kind of nerd. But working with numbers is repetitive and predicting. It is a job where there is no room for creativity.. Its your classic "all work and no play makes jack a dull boy" type scenario. there needs to be a balance...so all hobbies must involve creativity. I may not be Russell Crowe, but I have a beautiful mind. and when it is left to its own devices...watch out world. So I am not going to hide that away anymore. Its time to let it out. so guitar, photos, jewelry, clothes, whatever I can be creative with I am going to take and run with....while wearing a really cute pair of drapey print shorts with a plain white tank...strands of long necklaces.

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